For some time the word decision has been on my mind. Tomorrow will be one month since I lost my mother to cancer. I began wondering about my decisions and her decisions. My thought was, if she happy with the decisions she made in life. She was only 56 years old, which is very young to me to have to endure such an awful illness. To have to endure cancer at any age is terrible. I wondered if she enjoyed the life she lived based on the decisions she made. Well, all I can do is assume she did and hope so. She was always very bubbly and seemed to enjoy life. She was always smiling and was loved by everyone. My thought was no matter what was going on she took lemons and made lemonade.
Now here I am a grown woman with 5 kids of my own. I sometimes wonder about the decisions I have made. Is there something I could have done different or better? Of course. There is always something different I could have done. It’s not what I did that was important though. It was a matter of learning. Did I learn from my decision? This was a better question than what I could have done better or different. My husband always says “if you are not getting better, you are getting worse.” He is right. If I don’t learn the world around me is growing and changing while I remain the same, which means I am going backwards. Now, when I think of the word decision I immediately connect the word to learn or lesson. Whether good outcome or not I should always be growing and learning.
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1 week ago today my mother passed away at age 56 from cancer. I remember being a teenager wanting to do hair when I graduated and my mom was one of the first people I practiced on. I was about 13 when I gave her a asymmetrical bob and put some chunky red highlights in it. It was so cute. Then while going through kemo all her hair came out. I guided her through that time and she was still gorgeous. Her hair did grow back before she died and today I am going to do her hair one last time. Pray for me that I am able to make her look as pretty today as I did when I was a teenager.
Today is Friday and it’s a beautiful day! Many have a mindset of “TGIF.” By the time Sunday evening comes many will fall into a sort of depression with the thought of returning to work on Monday. So why do so many go through this week after week, month after month and year after year? We get caught up in the mind frame that we need too. As Americans we have lost the appreciation for family and time. Instead we have replaced it with stuff. Bigger and more things to impress people we don’t care about. We are so busy keeping up with the Jones that we are distracted by what is really important. Most households have two working parents if there are two parents in the home at all. The divorce rate is well over 50% so there are a lot of single parent homes. Instead of spending time enjoying family and each other we are killing ourselves working 40-80 hrs a week to buy more stuff. Unfortunately, because we are living so big when a crises like unemployment happens we still can’t enjoy our family and friends. Why not take the time to get small and enjoy the present we have called life. Today is a gift that many will let pass. We can’t get it back and there will only be one today. There is no time like the present to enjoy the present!