Believe it, see it, know it

It is not enough to want, wish or hope. It is not enough to set goals or work hard. We must affirm over and over again in our mind’s eye, and in our heart, that what we want is inevitable. We must see it, hear it, taste it and feel it happening right now. And we must do this regardless of any and all evidence to the contrary. We must establish faith (defined as belief without evidence) in our quest. We must act as though, pray as though, and move through our world as though what we want … ALREADY IS.

What decision will you make

For some time the word decision has been on my mind. Tomorrow will be one month since I lost my mother to cancer. I began wondering about my decisions and her decisions. My thought was, if she happy with the decisions she made in life. She was only 56 years old, which is very young to me to have to endure such an awful illness. To have to endure cancer at any age is terrible. I wondered if she enjoyed the life she lived based on the decisions she made. Well, all I can do is assume she did and hope so. She was always very bubbly and seemed to enjoy life. She was always smiling and was loved by everyone. My thought was no matter what was going on she took lemons and made lemonade.

Now here I am a grown woman with 5 kids of my own. I sometimes wonder about the decisions I have made. Is there something I could have done different or better? Of course. There is always something different I could have done. It’s not what I did that was important though. It was a matter of learning. Did I learn from my decision? This was a better question than what I could have done better or different. My husband always says “if you are not getting better, you are getting worse.” He is right. If I don’t learn the world around me is growing and changing while I remain the same, which means I am going backwards. Now, when I think of the word decision I immediately connect the word to learn or lesson. Whether good outcome or not I should always be growing and learning.

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Eternal Beauty

1 week ago today my mother passed away at age 56 from cancer. I remember being a teenager wanting to do hair when I graduated and my mom was one of the first people I practiced on. I was about 13 when I gave her a asymmetrical bob and put some chunky red highlights in it. It was so cute. Then while going through kemo all her hair came out. I guided her through that time and she was still gorgeous. Her hair did grow back before she died and today I am going to do her hair one last time. Pray for me that I am able to make her look as pretty today as I did when I was a teenager.
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